Ravaged – from “Shadow in the Mirror”
This is an excerpt from a book I’m writing with Nancy Walker. You can see her website at www.NancyJeanWalker.net __________________ On the ten-minute walk down Cherry Tree Farm Road toward Highway 35, wispy snowflakes glistened, luminous against the deep purple sky. I liked catching them on my tongue. It was fun, like licking a snow cone. But this wasn’t fun. I was stranded. Snow piled on the sidewalk, burying my feet. I slipped on icy patches and stretched over the drifts. The wind strengthened, my dampened eyelashes froze, making it difficult to see. I had purposely forgotten my hat and…
A Fateful Decision – from “Shadow in the Mirror”
Many moments in my life confused me, more than I can count. I wondered why I existed, why God never rescued me. Yet whenever I reflected back on that vision, it strengthened me. Even though life trampled my dreams to become a famous dancer, I practiced alone. I had to—dancing was my oxygen. I devoted countless hours in front of my mirror perfecting each new fad. Once again dance whisked me away into blissful places. Things radically changed after Mom bought me my first training bra. My inattentive father noticed my developing body. His pride wouldn’t allow for a daughter…
Heavenly Vision
The inner strength to survive surprised me after what I endured with John. I look at pictures of myself during that time. I always wore a smile. How could that have been? My fortitude seems to have come from a simple understanding and an odd experience. At age six, Mom registered me for catechism classes. A nun taught me that God gave his only Son, Jesus, for me, and that this Jesus loved me—me! But I didn’t pay attention to much else, so I had no idea who God or Jesus really were, could have been genies for all I…
Cast Down
John’s mistreatment escalated. One February afternoon, when I was twelve, he drove me to his house. He gripped my wrist, casually strolled into his mother’s kitchen, and introduced me as his girlfriend. She examined me head to toe, curled her lips, and then busied herself stirring a pot on the stove. John nudged me towards the back porch. “Sit,” he said, as if I were his dog. What happened next was far worse than anything he had subjected me to in the past. On that day John forcibly stole my virginity. Until then, I had no idea what intercourse was….
The Good Girl and the Devil Boy
I moped around in my bedroom for days, aching to learn a new dance step and see Mrs. Mauer. Her voice replayed in my head, “Never give up, never quit.” So I stood in front of my mirror and tried to dance, but my legs ignored my anemic attempts. My broken heart fell to pieces, as I plunged into a bottomless depression. I’d never see my beloved Mrs. Mauer again. My tears blurred my image in the mirror as if to wash me away. Not even my favorite songs could pull me up. I wanted to die. In November 1963,…
