My Favorite Restroom!
My favorite restroom is the one where I step into infinity. Yes, a restroom. I walk into this room with mirrors on all four walls and ceiling that reflect infinitely in every direction but down. It plays with my eyes and mind, and I play along. What would it be like to step through the mirror into the images and enter another dimension? I want to go beyond myself, beyond the ordinariness of this world. I want to step through the mirror into infinity. Become countless me’s, all moving in sync with my original me, now…
Petrified! How Did That Happen?
I’m standing in northeastern Arizona in the Petrified Forest National Park. A dry wind rustles clumps of grass amid the treeless, barren hills. Broken sections of stone cylinders lie on their sides and populate the hills as far as the eye can see. The stones are big and small, in beautiful shades of white, tan, rusty brown, dark brown, and black. They all look like logs. Because they were. Scientist types tell us that 225 million years ago, when dinosaurs were just appearing—Day Five of Creation! (if you’re so inclined)—this very spot was a lush forest, green and full of…
So Why Did Jesus Have to Die?
I ask people why Jesus had to get strung up on a Roman cross and die. The typical answer I get from Christians is, “to save us from our sins.” I can tell they don’t know why and are just repeating what the preacher or Sunday school teacher told them. So why do Christians insist Jesus had to die? Why couldn’t God just shout from heaven, “I forgive you!” and be done with it? And why, oh why, isn’t it enough to simply be a good person? Let’s cut through the theological complexities to this: God is Holy. God is…
The Killer Wimp
Our church is home to little lizards. They eat bugs, leave no mess, and scare no one. They’re my friends, and I name them all Leonard. Every one of them—Leonard. One weekday afternoon I took my little dog to the church office with me. I left her in the hallway for less than a minute and came back to see the carnage of dead Leonard lying on the carpet. His neck was bitten wide open, body crushed, and tail bitten off. My little Yorkshire Terrier, barely ten pounds and always cute, paced back and forth, apparently proud of her warrior’s…
Your Fake $100
As a pastor, I have no problem with people putting $100 bills into the offering. Except when they’re fake. Like this one. When we deposited the church funds, the bank machine wouldn’t accept this bill. I thought it was because it was wrinkled or folded at the end. The machine wouldn’t accept a smoothed-out bill either. I brought it to a banker, who required all of five seconds to determine it was counterfeit. The banker kindly said things like, “Look at the color…the paper…the lack of fine wavy lines…the sharpness of image…even the size is 1/16 inch too large all around.”…
